Saturday, March 28, 2009

Black Harpes Jason Branch Gay

Resignation ...



resigning myself to know that you will never, understand why this situation, why I feel so bad when it was supposed to take the right path ...

his arms open, dreaming that yours come to this meeting with a nostalgic longing that takes me to the absurd reality that I find ...

Feeling the short life of my tears on your cheek, caressing my face watching tuck wanting, wanting to make me feel better ...

the murmur of wind caressing the leaves of the trees that rest on a large insignificant mountains full of life, as insignificant as mine ...

Blaming the target of my fate, drowning my sorrow in cigarettes make you smile, you flee from reality ...

Seeing as night falls gently through the clouds and horizon for a moment losing sight of that warm sun stopped

enlighten ... Wishing to escape, to break with all this bitterness is killing me ... call to everyone, smiling, pretending to be happy ...

Someone told me recently sometimes it is easier to talk to an outsider than someone near you, maybe that's why I broke to mourn in his office, opening the can of worms once and for all, pointing out that behind a bad student, a girl hides fearful, sad ... It's funny, because just a few days ago and had thought that a teacher I could help much, but she was always special, making me understand why many things ... for a moment cease to be a teacher and student, and we became two well-known talk about their things, without fear. Beside

I felt protected by a time to mourn as I broke a girl helpless, unable to stop even sketched a smile when he saw me there in that situation that arose in an unexpected moment ...

I still feel the sadness, I am in a difficult time, everything happened too fast, and pretend that I did not care was worse than throw everything in due time ... Now I'm drowning, suffering in silence, crying in the dark so I do not see anyone ... wasting my time thinking that I will shorten the life slowly ...

I look in the mirror, it seems I age at times, with only eighteen years of life weighs me if I stayed just a breath of life ... I was always

different, perhaps unusual, sinister ... my mom says if I have something good is I have a huge heart, I am a good person, I try to believe his words, but I find it too difficult to be good if I'm alone, all alone ... I burn

desire to kill, to break, to tear myself, so great is the contempt I feel for myself that sometimes scares me ... I cried last night

made a curled on the couch, while everyone slept outside my pain ... I could not sleep or out of my head ...

This morning also escaped a few tears from my eyes to my face and go ... it will overshadow the spring, it saddens me or perhaps a cluster of feelings forged and did not tell you because I hate talking about myself ... I like to listen, be heard ... maybe not I never know, or perhaps not want to know, would not be the only person running for my life ... I hate

pretend I'm fine, but mostly, I hate that no one will notice that my welfare is not a fiction ...

The absurd life I'm living, where every decision is wrong as the previous ...

What have I done? I can not understand how I failed ... but it sure did something wrong, something I missed, perhaps, being born was the biggest mistake of my life, I think so, which eradicates the problem here ...

problem that I am, I always was I remember looking back ... every fight, every flight from home, each sobbing back ... every tear shed in secret in an old roof, cold and dark, a witness to each of my losses ...

If you ever have the courage to end my life, I will from there, so that one day it saw my sadness, my battles lost, my few joys, is also the main guardian of my body lifeless, the astonished gaze of one who can not avoid death ...

"Vertigo, the world to stop "the song goes, I need, it stops the world stop spinning for a moment and stop prolonging the agony ...

I wish I could change everything, wipe out my life, my actions, my mistakes ...

you know? I stopped feeling this lump in my throat, I do not mind getting lost ...

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